In Defense of San Francisco’s Dating Pool
The city doesn’t have a shortage of incredible single people. We’ve just convinced ourselves that it does.
You may have heard that last week I launched San Francisco’s Hot List: a list of the city’s most dateable people.
And yes, I know it sounds a bit silly. Maybe even a little crass. But I was trying to challenge a narrative so deeply ingrained in this city that I knew it would take something provocative to get people’s attention.
As the founder of a dating company, I see thousands of people apply to Known every week looking for love. They are ambitious and mission-driven, kind, courteous, and yes, they are hot. They are everything that San Francisco supposedly lacks.
What was once known as the “City of Love,” has spent years written off as one of the worst dating markets in the country. And that reputation has begun to fulfill itself: in our survey of single San Franciscans, we found that the average person went on fewer than two dates last year.
The crisis isn’t a lack of eligible people. It’s that we’ve decided there’s no one worth meeting because that’s easier than actually making the effort to meet them.
So, to push back on this narrative, and to give San Francisco’s dating pool some long-overdue credit, we launched the Hot List: a small glimpse at just how many incredible, multi-dimensional people this city has to offer.
And yes, to state the obvious, everyone on this list happens to be very hot. This is still a Hot List, after all.
But looks alone weren’t what earned someone a spot. In curating the list, we looked for the same qualities that we see highlighted in applicants at Known: attraction, ambition, accomplishment, reputation, and aura.
To us, hotness is an energy, an attitude, a way of being. It’s a certain je ne sais quoi. It’s the way someone walks into a room or makes you feel seen when talking to them. It’s being wildly ambitious and low-ego. It’s the story behind why someone chose their career or the way they light up talking about their latest obsession. It is an unmistakable quality that can rarely be conveyed solely through a photograph or by scrolling on a screen.
When we asked San Franciscans to nominate someone they believed deserved a spot, nearly 25,000 nominations came back, with thoughtful explanations on why they or their friend belonged. The final list is our curation of that spirit - a small selection of the people who make San Francisco far more interesting, dateable, and hotter than its reputation would have you believe.
More than anything though, this list is meant to challenge San Franciscans to give dating here another chance.
In a culture that promises infinite options at our fingertips, we’ve become accustomed to assuming there might always be someone better waiting beyond the next swipe. With less than roughly 10% of matches on traditional dating apps turning into dates, we seem increasingly reluctant to meet someone who may not immediately check every box - and test what could become a spark in person.
At Known, we are on a mission to shift that culture. We are building a community of people who want to date with intention, and making it easier for them to slow down and get to know each other in person.
We hope San Francisco’s Hot List inspires you to reconsider all that this city’s singles have to offer, and to stay open to the possibility that someone might surprise you.
